This month has been an exercise in frustration. Within a day or two of writing my last post, I was down to 179 pounds! Wow, 21 pounds gone and I was out of the 180’s. Life was good I thought. But then I ended up gaining about 3 pounds in the month and when I left for a retreat last weekend, I was at 182.6. I was frustrated and resigned that those pesky 180’s just wouldn’t let go.
I did have one nice moment though. Friends of mine are getting married next month and I’ve been contemplating whether I could wear a special dress that is in my closet.
Four years ago, there was a show on Bravo, called Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style. In the show, Tim Gunn would work with women to figure out what looked great on them, and in every episode, there was a trip to a designer for a dress for a special occasion
One episode featured clothing designer Kay Unger. The person featured in the episode modeled a number of her dresses and I fell in love with one. Green and black, deep V-neck, knee-length full skirt with capped sleeves. The dress wasn’t picked, but I thought it would look fabulous on me. But me in a designer dress? Hah! I like quality, but I’m not willing to spend hundreds of dollars on a piece of clothing. So I put it out of my mind.
Flash-forward a few weeks and I’m at the mall passing by a Lord and Taylors. They were having a designer dress clearance sale. So I went though and started pouring over the racks. And there it was, the dress I fell in love with. Originally retailed for $450, there is was on the rack for $35. The only size they had was a 12, so I took that and tried it on. It didn’t fit, I couldn’t get the zipper to close and I thought I was going to tear out the seams around my hips.
But I went ahead and bought it anyways. Even with not fitting, I was right, it did look fabulous on me. I called it my possibilities dress. The dress I could wear if I did something about myself. And for four years it sat in the closet.
Last weekend I decided to try it. I was scared and excited. But I thought, if I can wear this dress to the wedding I wouldn’t have to go buy a new one. So I tried, and it fit and that means I’ve met a goal. Which given the whole not being able to wave good-bye to the 180’s is pretty awesome.
So one good thing out of the month.
Part of the frustration for this month is that I can’t really figure out where I went wrong. But I realized I haven’t been tracking my food for a few months, so I have no way of figuring it out.
The other is of course, not exercising. While I am now working from home, my work right now is all-consuming and I’m spending at least 10 hours a day at my computer. I’ve been loath to leave for a work-out and I have to figure out how best to convince myself that I can. I have to give myself permission to and that is proving to be hard. I still don’t like to exercise, which is the biggest problem.
September 2012 Measurements
|Weight||200 lbs||181.6 lbs||-18.00 lbs|
My measurements went up. But I think it’s bloating. Let me explain. Last weekend I was on a retreat where I wasn’t in control of my food. While the kitchen did its best to accommodate those of us with food issues. It was a menu where carbohydrates in the form of grains and starches ruled and where I felt like a second class citizen. For instance, one night the dinner was pasta. For those not gluten-free, they got a meal of pasta dressed with pesto and vegetables. Me, I got a meal of gluten-free pasta. No vegetables, no pesto. The only available vegetable was lettuce. Plain pasta that I was able to dress up a little bit with butter and some Parmesan cheese but not satisfying and definitely not something I would eat usually.
It felt like the old days where someone who was a vegetarian was served a plate of steamed vegetables. Let me tell you, I would have killed for some steamed vegetables.
So after four days of that, I’m still bloated and uncomfortable. Next week I’m on my last camping trip for the year with my group. I will have control of my food and will be bringing some of my ferments to share. There will be alcohol involved so after I get back, I’m doing a complete reset. I’m going to go back to daily weigh-ins, tracking my carbohydrate intake and basically doing what helped me to easily lose the first 15 pounds. I also have an appointment with my trainer and will (hopefully) get back into a regular physical exercise practice.
Fitness Report Series
- Report 1: Eating Healthy Food isn’t Enough
- Report 2: Fitness Report – Month 1
- Report 3: Fitness Report – Month 2
- Report 4: Fitness Report – Month 3
- Report 5: Fitness Report – Month 4
- Report 6: Fitness Report – Month 5
- Report 7: Fitness Report – Month 6
- Report 8: Fitness Report – Month 7
- Report 9: Fitness Report – Month 8
- Report 10: Fitness Report – Month 9